Who Wants to Marry a Polygamist
(Ad Parody)
As I surfed from CNN to E! to VH1, a brilliant idea came to mind. A new reality show where everyone is a winner.
“Who Wants to Marry a Polygamist.”
It is a combination of “The Bachelor,” “Rock of Love,” and “Oprah’s Big Give.”
The program is filled with the lack of romance of “The Bachelor”, the sincerity of “Rock of Love,” and the warmth of “Oprah’s Big Give,” minus the warmth
One male, Jon, has his choice of 24 average, homely-looking, women with denim dresses and their hair in buns. After 16 weeks of exciting dishwashing, laundry and baking, Jon marries all of them. No drama or jealousy among this crowd.
Nine months after the runaway ratings success of “Who Wants to Marry a Polygamist,” a second series is taped.
The spin-off of “Who Wants to Marry a Polygamist” will air on Discovery Health Channel. It will be called “Jon and Kate and Aasta and Ciri and Kalyn and Liola and Summer and Flower and Rainbow and Ubah and Xan and Mulva and Kara and Dorfa and Claetra and Berna and Zya and Nirena and Lawn and Elona and Ronilla and Starbuck and Verneta and Blonda and Myrthina and Peggy Sue plus 80.”
The family will live on a “ranch,” which most people will mistakenly call a compound. Comedy is sure to ensue because of this misconception.
The real drama begins when all the children are removed to a fate worse than a polygamist cult, the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services.
America votes on which children remain in state custody.
Eventually the country realizes foster care will screw the kids up more than the cult would, and the children go home.
The end.
April 22, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Very funny, and sadly it would probably be a huge hit. i’d watch it.
April 23, 2008 at 8:02 pm
I never really believed in Polygamy, always thought it was an old wyves tale, or like Santa Clause, something that people want you to believe in but doesn’t really exist.
That was my thought on the subject until I lived in Salt Lake City, Utah for several years. So I can tell you that based on what I saw while I was there, that if this show was a “reality” it would be huge there. There are certain communities there, and other places I am sure, that would love it.
May 4, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Do the contestants get free bonnets to cover their buns? I have been growing my hair down to my waist just hoping an opportunity like this would come along for me. Tell me where to sign up, oh, but you better do it via snail mail. I am trashing all my electronics in a few minutes. If anyone needs to reach me, I will be cleaning out my makeup drawers to make room for belts which I will use to beat my future children. Thanks ABC!