Mommy is Aging and Doesn’t Give a F#@!
When Botox first hit the market, I lived with it. Anyone who injects poison in their face deserves to look like an expressionless alien.
The frozen forehead look goes perfect with swollen lips; unnaturally smooth skin, 50-year-old perky breasts and flat stomachs with missing navels.
Then anal-bleaching arrived. Fine. Burn the outer layer of flesh off your anus. I don’t care.
Now I hear about the children’s book, “My Beautiful Mommy.”
Dr. Michael Salzhauer, Florida plastic surgeon, wrote the book to explain to children that it is perfectly natural to cut and rearrange your body to fit in social norms.
We have become obsessed with cosmetic surgery to the point where children’s books are written to explain Mommy’s new vagina.
How about a realistic book titled, “Mommy is Aging and Doesn’t Give a F#@! What Anyone Thinks, Now Go Clean Your Room.”
That’s a book I would read
What’s next? Bacne (back acne) transplant? Nothing screams youth like acne. Next time one of those zits pops on your back, have your plastic surgeon move it to your face.
How about pube straightening? Give you lover a soft cushion to lay their face on when they go down on you.
What you need to do is called lowering your standards.
Don’t waste your time and money on products that will never attract your Brad Pitt. Seek out the 500-pound, sweaty man, with four inches of back hair poking out of the neck of his shirt.
When you finally meet that average looking guy, you’ve won because he’s above your new low standard.
If you resort to Botox, anal-bleach, breast lifts, tummy tucks, bacne transplants and pube straightening, you’re obviously too self-conscious about your looks. That is what turns most people off, lack of self-worth.
There is nothing more unattractive than a person who mopes around and can’t figure out why nobody loves them.
Want to know why nobody loves you? You whine too much.
Save your money, stay in your league and accept yourself for the ugly mess that you are … unless you’re F#@!ing rich.
