Judge Harris Faces Limp Competition

   

           Tulsa County District Judge Jesse Harris has been charged with two counts of indecent exposure.

            According to Harris’ ex-girlfriend, Kali Nolen, Harris opened his bible belt and released his anaconda.

            This breed of anaconda is a member of the trouser snake.  It prefers warm moist environments and can stretch up to 10 inches when fully erect.

            Anacondas enjoy eating fish.  They stretch their mouths around the head, swallow and work toward the feet.

            Once you’ve tasted, felt and used an anaconda, can it really be indecent exposure for you to see it again?  Isn’t this along the line as those people who sue McDonald’s for being fat?

            Once you’ve swallowed the product, you’re stuck with the consequences.

            The real indecency here is to cry victim after three-years of cave dwelling.  I doubt seeing your ex-boyfriend’s snake is traumatic, unless it is so huge your cave now has post-traumatic stress disorder.

            If anyone should be upset, it should be Judge Donald “Penis Pump” Thompson.  If your unit is named “anaconda,” you’re most likely hung.  If you use a penis pump, you most likely need help in the meat department.

            One man’s legacy:  Hung.  Another man’s legacy:  Sad.

            If I were Harris, I’d watch my back.  Thompson was released Tuesday.

            He may have a bone to pick with you.