The Death of SB 163

            As I walk through any typical American store, I hear many languages that I don’t recognize.  One of those languages is English. 

            I hear one man say, “Man, her children eat like nothing.”

            I don’t understand.  Does he mean the children starve, or eat like pigs? 

            I’m sure the answer differs among races.

            I hear another person on their cell phone ask if “Shawty” is home.  The word “Shawty” sounds like a person that you are planning to shoot.  Is a serious crime about to be committed?  I shake my head.

            I glance down and see the screen of someone’s iPhone.  They’ve received a text message that reads, “Watz rong W en r-o-l-f-l-m-a-o.”  I don’t know what that means either.  I’m really confused now.

            The Oklahoma Senate planned to send SB 163, the “English as the Official Language of Oklahoma” bill, to a vote of the people.  If passed, we would have joined 30 others states that have English as their official language.

            The senate sent the bill to a conference committee, which killed the bill for this year.  The vote was 25-23. 

            In the “no” corner, 24 democrats and one republican.  In the “yes” corner, 23 republicans.  Those who voted against the bill said that they were not against the bill, but the bill was flawed.

            I think the real reason the bill is viewed as flawed is because we don’t understand English ourselves.

            Look at text messaging.  “watz rong W en” is not English.  If you have to use a translator to decipher the code, it’s another language.

            What about computer geek chat? When someone talks codes, voips, gips, watchamcalits and thingybobs, most people have no idea what they are talking about.  Computer talk is not English.  It is painful.

            And how about those people that overuse “like” and “you know what I’m sayin’?”  Technically these words are English, but like annoying. 

            Speaking of sayins’, “Shawty,” “Bling,” “Sagging,” and “Frontin’,” would probably have been outlawed as well, mainly because the person who drafted the bill, Randy Terrill (R-Moore), is beyond the age group that understands current slang.  Terrill also drafted HB 1804.

            If the bill were to have passed, what would we have called the state?  Would the use of the word “Oklahoma” have been illegal?

           Oklahoma is a Choctaw word, not English. 

           Critics call Terrill a racist, but he says he is just doing what the tax payers expect him to do … well, at least the legal taxpayers.  The illegal taxpayers were not available for comment.

            However, I think Terrill might be frontin’.  You know what I’m sayin’ boo?