Brad’ll Do It

            Governor Brad Henry toured the damage from the town of Picher from Saturday’s tornadoes. 

            Because that is what makes everything ok, a tour from the governor.

            If a tornado transformed my house into a pile of mulch, turned my car upside down and my cat was in a tree with a branch through its chest, that is exactly what I would want to see … the governor, a helicopter and what used to be my home.

            My concern wouldn’t be food, water or shelter; it would be helping Henry with a good photo-op.

            Then why not kick me while I’m down?  Send in Kristen Glover.

            For those who do not live in or near Tulsa, Kristen Glover is the daughter of car dealer, Jim Glover.  He is the marketing genius that pimps his gorgeous daughter out to sell more cars with the catchy phrase, “Dad’ll Do It.”

            That would make me feel even better … Kristen, a helicopter and what used to be my home.

            I can hear the commercial now:

            “Kristen Glover here for Jim Glover Dodge.  May is Picher tornado awareness month.  For every cat you pluck out of a tree, we will knock $100 off a new car.  I-44 and Memorial, where dad’ll do it!”

            Not to be outdone by Kristen, Henry will jump with his own commercial:

            “Brad Henry here for the State of Oklahoma.  May is Picher tornado awareness month.  For every house that was destroyed, I will personally tour the destruction and hug every resident. I will also give $200 off a new car.  Take that bitches!  Brad’ll do it!”

            Henry said the devastation is “mind-boggling.”

            What is mind-boggling is how government officials believe their mere presence is what victims need.

            No.  What they need is food, water and other resources.

            Governor Brad Henry, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, FEMA Administrator David Paulison, Senator Jim Inhofe, Congressman Dan Boren and the EPA are all touring Picher.

            Good Lord.  Haven’t they been through enough already?