(Fake News. Satire. Similar to Business Briefs, which are featured in the business section of newspapers across the country. In this case, they are Bidness Briefs. Topics that are normally “Nunya bidness.”)
Stripper Services
Cloud Nine has named Trixie, 28, as its replacement stripper for the 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. shift.
Trixie has 15 years stripping experience. She previously worked for TABU and Oral Roberts University.
The former stripper, Delicious, 21, retired to take care of her husband, whose health has deteriorated since he turned 93-years-old.
Trixie starts her new shift Friday.
Salvation Industries
Self-appointed mankind savior, “Reverend” Bill Barnaby, will temporarily move from the corner of 3rd and Boston, to 2nd and Main.
Barnaby has yelled, “the end is near,” and, “repent now,” for more than a decade.
His specialty, mouthwash baptisms, have declined since road construction began in March.
Barnaby will move back to his regular location once construction is completed.
Meth
Cool Dee Low and Associates hired third grader Jimmy Barnes, 9, to head its lunchtime meth program.
Barnes has nine years experience watching his parents use and sell.
Barnes will begin selling, during lunch, this fall.
This will be his first job.
(If there is someone in the bidness world you would like mentioned, send an email to irritatedtulsan@gmail.com)
