If Tulsans learned one thing from last year’s failed river tax proposal, its children can pay more than they let on.
I remember the “Our River Yes” campaign that supported the increase in Tulsa County’s sales tax. The commercials featured several adorable children that eagerly stated, “Even I can afford that.”
The truth came out last year. Tulsa’s children can afford extra taxes. They have more disposable income than I do. They don’t contribute to bills, they mooch off their parents and they pay no property taxes.
How much longer will Tulsa’s kids shaft us? I say no more. It’s time to pay up.
Tulsa’s “Fix Our Streets” campaign includes an increase in property taxes. ”Fix Our Streets” is not to be confused with the anti-crime “Save Our Streets” campaign that I spent an hour researching. By the way, 6.1% of Tulsa County students said they tried meth.
On November 4, Tulsa votes on two proposals. One extends sales taxes, the other raises property taxes. I say drop the property tax proposal and tax the children. The money can be collected in two ways:
1. The current proposal is to increase property taxes by 6.3 mills. Replace the word “mills” with “miles.” Charge Tulsa’s children $10 for every mile they’re chauffeured.
2. Use the method that was effective on me in high school, the lunchroom shakedown. Mayor Taylor and the city councilors can bully kids for their lunch money. Bullying is profitably because of the low overhead.
What do soccer moms use to drive their kids around town? A mini-van and Tulsa streets. What do parents use to drive to the grocery store to buy Lunchables and Fruit Roll-Ups? Tulsa streets. What do kidnappers use to stalk children? Tulsa streets. What do cops use when there is an Amber Alerts? Tulsa streets.
It seems Tulsa’s children benefit more from the streets than we do.
Fix our streets, tax meth … wait … I think I’ve mixed research again.
October 13, 2008 at 1:24 pm |
You’re right! It’s time the little Bastards paid!
October 13, 2008 at 7:11 pm |
I say that we need a citywide Cuss Jar. Every time someone under 18 utters a dirty swear, we charge them ten bucks. That may not completely fix the tax problem or even the streets, but it will at least cut out about two minutes of some raven-haired, Tool shirt-wearing goon’s explanation of how rad his cousin’s cover band is. And that, my friends, is progression.