Now that the Cherokee Casino has gone through the trouble to tell us about their freakin’ star and its seven points that symbolize honor, hope and, I don’t know … urine soaked chairs; they’ve changed their mind. They will rebrand as Hard Rock Casino in Tulsa. The centerpiece of this move will not be the Hard Rock Café, but Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill, and you know how much I love Toby Keith.
Finally, I can try his famous Grease Pie or Smoked Raccoon Kiev. At least there’s no need to build a smokehouse, the meat can smoke in the casino.
This is great move by Cherokee Nation Enterprises to bring in millions of tourism dollars to all the Cherokee owned restaurants and smoke shops near the casino.
What an incredible way to spend a Sunday afternoon with the family: eat an overpriced burger, see Toby Keith’s a**less chaps on a Toby Keith mannequin and get a layer of smoke on your skin that resembles a tan.
Even in the non-smoking section, you leave the casino smelling of smoke, with the occasional spontaneously developed asthma.
I hope there’s a gift shop called, “TK Warrior’s Overnationalistic Redneck Boutique and Undergarments.” I would like to buy a Toby Keith Bobble Head to replace my Virgin Mary dashboard statue.
Like the rest of you, when I think of Hard Rock Café, I think of Indian gaming, Depends undergarments and Toby Keith. I dream that “I Love This Bar and Grill” will show a continuous loop of the Oscar winning “Beer for My Horses.” It will contribute to my night terrors.
Dinner and a suicide.
November 20, 2008 at 12:03 pm |
I happen to be lucky enough to live near the Casino. If it wasn’t bad enough to have the sun blocked out by the new million stories high hotel, now I get to see a giant guitar shadow on my front yard. I guess the good think about this is since I can no longer get sun light, I can go to the casino and get a nicotine stain tan without the fear of skin cancer…… only lung cancer.
Oh, Toby Keith’s movie “Beer For My Horses” was on CMT before it came out on video. I watched a few minutes of it. It should have been called “A Bullet For My Horses”. I’m sure they were suffering.
November 20, 2008 at 3:00 pm |
You need to get one of the cardboard cutouts of TK. Call it Cardboard Casino Keith. Maybe holding a shotgun with a stringer full of squirrels.
November 20, 2008 at 3:01 pm |
lol.. wait.. instead call it Kardboard Kasino Keith.
Yeah. that’s the ticket.
November 20, 2008 at 3:06 pm |
You know meecieewurkor, I don’t know if you’ve seen Cardboard Jim at The Lost Ogle, but I’m dying to do Kardboard Keith. I have thought about Karboard Keith since Yaw Eno ended. I even thought of doing to paper doll Keith. If anyone comes across a life size cardboard cut out of Toby Keith, I will wet myself.
November 20, 2008 at 3:52 pm |
yeah, I’ve seen Cardboard Jim over at the Lost Ogle.
OKC has a cardboard character, I was just thinking it’s about time Tulsa get one…
You would probably have to get a security detail to guard him, though, as TK haters would likely try to paint graffiti on him.
I wonder if Kinkos or some copier place could hook you up?
November 20, 2008 at 4:12 pm |
Tonight, I’m going Ebay shopping. I’ll let you know what I find tomorrow.
November 21, 2008 at 7:10 am |
Maybe then can get the Marloboro man next.
November 21, 2008 at 11:05 am |
I was always fascinated by the explanation of the seven points on the star. One of which was “honor”. What definition of honor includes gambling and the promotion of same? Now we eliminate the star and get a big ass guitar. And it is on the front doorstep of the City of Tulsa for those coming from the east. we should just put a brothel near the Turner Turnpick gate and a sign that says “Welcome to Gomorrah”.
November 21, 2008 at 12:05 pm |
So it is not a real Hard Rock and not in Tulsa. What else is new?
November 21, 2008 at 12:21 pm |
Hard Rock in name only. Gambling, debt and Hoverounds in spirit.
November 25, 2008 at 9:39 am |
Since we’re sending you a Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar And Ecoli, can you send us a QuickTrip?
-Signed, all of OKC
November 25, 2008 at 10:46 am |
I don’t want to be selfish. Go ahead and keep Toby.
November 28, 2008 at 2:45 pm |
A compromise should be afoot where TK can be sent (no refunds no exchanges) to some other state with a large hillbilly population and very little contributions to popular culture so that neither OKC nor Tulsa has to deal with it???? I’m kind of at a loss for ideas to humanely deal with TK, and I don’t really want to be mean.