Substandard Workers, Substandard Roads

The investigators behind the City Corruption scandal want us to know that there is “no evidence of substandard design, construction or inspection work.”  No evidence unless you actually look at the roads, which seem to be a mixture of cat litter and pudding.

We’re told that the roads the companies worked on are in good condition, but what about miles of roads left neglected because of budget shortfalls?  In a sense, there are substandard roads because of this scandal.  There are roads we couldn’t fix because allegedly Albert S. Martinez and Larry Wayne Baker paved their wallets instead of our streets.

You know what though, that’s not what I’m p***** about.  Don’t get me wrong, I am angry at those two and want to throw out a “Thank You Jackasses,” but what really got to me upset was Martinez and Wayne forced Kathy Taylor to take a stand.  Finally, a great scandal comes along that I can make fun of and you screw it up.

Like many of the comments I’ve read on news sites, I want to blame Kathy Taylor.   I can’t.  I truly believe she was too busy with photo-ops and groundbreakings to know this was going on.  Common sense tells me that since this investigation has gone on for two years, the scam had been going on longer.  Long before Taylor was in office.  You forced me to defend Taylor.  I’d rather paper cut the corners of my mouth and drink lemonade; I’d rather color my corneas with a Sharpie; I would rather get a hickey from Oral Roberts than not make fun of Taylor on this one. 

I had everything planned.  I had Kathy Taylor’s diary where she talked about how her doctor adjusted her hormone replacement therapy and she quit seeing gremlins.  I had her say, “Dear Diary, I like pancakes, love Katie.”  I even a great Randi Miller joke about buying jewelry at Petsmart, but nooooooooooooo, Taylor quickly react.  

A great post has been reduced.  You’re substandard workers with substandard roads, which resulted in this substandard post.

Something comes along that’s a goldmine of jokes and you have to [expletive] it up for me.

Not only have you screwed Tulsans out of millions of dollars, you screwed me out a Pulitzer.   

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