Friday Night Fights: Griffin Vs. Griffin
(By Chosen Juan)
Just like my first sexual encounter, I want my first blog post to be a pleasant experience for all parties involved. And, just like sex, I want to be successful enough that people want to do it with me again. So, my first time will serve as the beginning of a weekly series called: Friday Night Fights.
In the red corner we have OU star basketball player Blake Griffin. At 6’10” and 240 pounds, he’s likely to cause problems for any challenger. He’s big, strong, quick and looks stunning in a dress (Ok, those pictures were so disturbing I can’t even joke about them). He’s as ugly as a mud fence, which helps him intimidate his opponents. His arms are as big around as my whole body. So, he could crush your face and be able to apply lipstick and eyeliner before the back of you head hits the pavement with his cat-like quickness. Very scary, and again, super ugly.
In the blue corner is Kathy Griffin. Sure, she gives up a lot in size, but her mouth is deadly. Obviously she would have to rely on more than just physical skills to overcome a monster like Blake Griffin. But, she should not be taken lightly. First, her red hair serves as a distraction because it appears that her head is on fire. Second, she’s tough. She has been battling negative publicity for years and yet she still manages to make money off of her unfunny humor. The last thing is her damn mouth. If Blake Griffin doesn’t knock her out early, she could win by talking him into killing himself. That is why this fight is so even and interesting.
You decide who wins. Listed below is a poll that allows you vote on the outcome of this fight. Whichever fighter gets the most votes will win and be placed in a tournament bracket after the first round of fights is complete.
When the first-round fights are finished, you the reader will be able to fill out a bracket and submit it online for a prize. Have a great day, Tulsa, and get laid soon!
