Our Mother Madeleine

Madeleine Pickens, the well-preserved third wife of Billionaire T. Boone Pickens, is upset at OSU’s Veterinary program.  She considers the practice of vet students using animals to actually learn how to operate on animals, “barbaric.”

Still, no outcry on her part against the Tulsa woman who slept with her dogs, or the Connecticut woman who bathed with her chimp.

What T. Boone Pickens’ wife (The media must refer to her as “T. Boone Pickens’ wife” or “The wife of T. Boone Pickens” due her main job as trophy wife.  For convenience, I’ll refer to her as “Trout.”) doesn’t realize is how animal testing has benefitted her. Thanks to animal testing, she won’t have polio or small pox, and can have a face so tight it’s one lift away from urinating through her chin.

Trout wants a $5 million donation directed away from the OSU Center for Veterinary Health Sciences.  She probably wants the money redirected to the OSU College of Human Environmental Sciences to encourage future Prada designers.

Instead of animals, maybe Trout would prefer the students practice on a bowl of pudding or Tickle Me Elmos.  In the meantime, future veterinarians will only have the ability to eat pudding and neuter stuffed toys.  More stray dogs can wander the streets.  This will lead to more cars hitting dogs, which will eventually lead to Trout-approved test patients.  Vet clinics or roadkill?  It’s all in the timing.

In a state that allows repeat DUI offenders to kill people, children to die in the hands of DHS and Mike Gundy’s hair, it’s good to see someone fighting for a true cause … dog testicles.

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