Letters to Delilah…
At 7:45 a.m., Carly Rush read From Beauty Essentials to Desperation on the morning show at KBEZ. I never thought asphalt road facials could sound eloquent. I’ve listened to Carly since she worked at K-Hits, long enough to remember when it was called K107. I am a true fan.
However, there is another KBEZ DJ I’m not a fan of, Delilah. She’s not local, she syndicated.
Delilah’s voice is soothing. People send her horrible letters, which she reads like a bedtime story. Then, she dedicates a song to the letter’s author:
Hey There Delilah,
I bet you haven’t heard that in ten minutes. Ha ha. Lately, I’ve been depressed. My boyfriend passed away last week. At least that’s what he said in his letter from St. Lucia.
We spent every waking moment together, even at work. He sacked groceries and I would spend my day buying one item at time. I tried to get hired on as a cashier, but they said I was overqualified. I have a doctorate in Psychology, but it can’t diagnose the woes of my soul.
Sincerely,
Cloris Leachman
Delilah will say she has the perfect song and play I Touch Myself by the Divinyl. Before the song, she’ll something deep about how grocery sacking is in your soul. I will fail to understand the context.
or …
Dear Delilah,
I’m a cannibal and I’ve eaten my entire family, except for my son who is in Iraq. I miss him. I hope he comes soon. I’m so very hungry. Could you play something that will take the hunger away? Also, do you know a good dry cleaner?
Margaret
Delilah will play Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar on Me, then she’ll say something deep about how dry cleaners are in your soul. I will fail to understand the context.
Carly Rush it. Delilah flush it.
(P.S. Carly, P.S. I’d opt for the blow torch. Not only will it give you a close shave, it will remove the top layer of dull skin.)
Mega dittos, IT!
I cannot STAND that radio jock, but its a close call to decide which I revile worse: her or her sappy women callers.
HEY! Sadsack Caller! He’s just not that in to you! Get over it! (OR, Hey! When hubby told you he needed “space”, what he meant was: you’ve gained too much weight so he’s doing the intern! Get over it!
Spot on as usual.
Dreck like Delilah is the reason I listen to and support public radio.
I can’t stand Delilah or her callers. The stories are so blah. Sometimes for kicks I turn on the radio when I know she is on, and wait for my daughter and sister to realize who I’ve turned it to. Once they hear Deelilaahh, they freak out and scream, both scrambling to turn the station. I just laugh and laugh! I wish you could see it
She might dedicate a song to us. lol! I must say that karma is a butch. When I take a shower in the evening, I almost always get caught right up in her show. Once she was talking to caller about yelling at her autistic son. I was like damn Delilah don’t you have any friends to talk to about personal stuff? The callers all, “no you are great!!”, and she’s all, ” no I am not!” That went on, and then they cut to a commerical. All I could do was laugh. Water running cold and all, I just stood there and laughed.