What the F*** Noodlers?
OETA broadcast a documentary about Okie Noodling. I thought it would be a cooking show. Who doesn’t like noodles? Five seconds into the program, I find I’m wrong. Noodlers are fishermen that catch catfish with their bare hands. I have one question.
What the f*** is wrong with you people?
Who in their right mind would crawl through a dirty river, place their arms in holes, and hope they find a fish? I know who, Neanderthals in acid-washed jeans. I’d like to welcome you to the 21st Century. Dark jeans are in and you can buy fish at Walmart.
One of the interviewees said, “I caint git enuf. Itz in my blud.” No, what’s in your blood is the venom of the copperhead that bit you, which probably caused hallucinogenic visions of giant catfish.
“I lost this finger from a beaver,” said another interviewee. The only three words that should be associated with beaver are Davy, Crocket, and virginity.
The documentary featured several shirtless men with their arms under water saying, “it takes a man,” “this is a good one,” and “come in the hole.” Normally these phrases are followed by prison gangbangs.
The slogan of the noodler is “No Worms. No Wimps. No Worries.” How about no fingers, no toes, no accidental hand jobs? Is this Okie Noodling or Brokeback Swamp?
Since 2000, Pauls Valley, located in Central Oklahoma, has hosted the Okie Noodling Tournament. The Oklahoma Department of Health reported an outbreak of syphilis among teenagers in Central Oklahoma.
Another danger of noodling.
Eons ago when I worked in a small town in east Texas I knew several people that went noodling in the Sabine River. The one thing I remember is that they told me that it was just a myth that water moccasins don’t bite underwater. Of course, they told me that not all snake bites require medical treatment either.
I am sad
I missed the Noodling documentary. It’s one of my favorites. All’s I gots to say is, white people are crazy. lol! Just kidding ;D
The first time I heard about noodling I thought it was the craziest thing in the world.
I used to have a boss that did a bit of noodling and those were some crazy stories. I always loved getting him going on his noodling stories. Good times.
LOL! Actually he hasn’t lost any…yet. His brother almost drowned when he got a hold of a huge bass though.
The only dark place I will reach in to grab a catfish is in my freezer!
I’m hate to admit, but I too saw this documentary. It was definitely based on “family tradition.” Dig deeper (but not much) and you might find out that that kid’s parents are brother and sister.
They all looked like the people you see on TV after the tornadoes.
ahhhh poor little girlymen who only eat frozen fish sticks… lol shhh, don’t tell them where eggs come from.
Eggs come from trees, right?
nah.. they come from egg donors…
What about tube steak?
Tube Steaks are what they call hot dogs in Canada. Imagine the horror of one said Canadian Girl when we explained to her that asking guys if they wanted to go out for a tube steak at lunch was a bad idea.
Dave:
If your buddy nearly drowned from “fisting” a bass, then I want to know where you fish. There isn’t a bass in the state of Oklahoma that would cause a person to drown unless that person couldn’t swim. You, my friend, are a real “Munson.”