Translating the MySpace Page of an Alleged Methhead (Shawn Ponder)
Tulsa police arrested eight people for making meth Tuesday. Meth eats your brain and turns it into an anti-sponge. An anti-sponge is similar to a regular sponge, however, it can’t hold anything new. Another horrible side effect of meth is forgetting to put your MySpace page on private.
This proud parent is Shawn Ponder, one of the men arrested Tuesday. To understand what’s left of his mind, I’ll attempt to translate his MySpace page.
• Slogan
Always on a mission
• Translation
I need meth
• About Me
What’s there to say I run arond alot, drink 2 much & cant stay out of trouble no matter how hard I try
• Translation
Meth keeps me energized and thirsty. Trouble finds me because I’m 5’8″ and have been diagnosed with Little Man Syndrome.
• Who I’d Like to Meet
Don’t know; but I know a few people i wish i hadn’t met
• Translation
I’d like to meet myself because I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me.
• General
The only real interest I have is my kid everything else is just passing time
• Translation
I’m only interested in my boys. The left on hangs lower.
• Music
I listen to everything
• Translation
Color me Badd and Kenny Rogers at the same time.
• Movies
I watch about anything that’s on
• Translation
The colors are pretty, especially when I’m tweaking.
• Television
Didn’t I already answer this
• Translation
A&E’s Intervention. Ironic, I know.
• Television
Who reads ?
• Translation
Everyone Poops.
• Heroes
Im the hero of this story
• Translation
The Lohans.
