School Starts Soon You Little Bastards
Edison High School wants parents to know that their asshole teenagers return to school August 20. Finally, a school district that says what they mean. No more politically correct bullshit, they’re going hardcore. Edison is not fucking around anymore.
Among the upcoming changes: Edison will lynch disruptive students, slap parents that take no responsibility for their child’s education, replace detention with prison, grow their own food, use superglue on Saggers and force Emo kids to watch The Wiggles.
These instructors aren’t simply angry like your everyday private school nun with a ruler, they’re not even inner city teachers that become crappy Hollywood movies, they’re Kim Jong-il on acid. They will cut you open, feed you to the principal and use your face as an entry in the district-wide art show.
In addition, every student will make A’s. Get that? EVERYONE!
So, if a school bus travels through the parking lot a 25 mph and a student walks east for two minutes, how long will it take to reach homeroom? GO TO CLASS!
School starts August 20 you punk-ass bitches.
I’m glad that Edison is finally coming to their senses. No more namby pamby cuddling and coddling. Time for these kids to find out what life and the afterlife is all about.
Life is about making A’s for everyone. EVERYONE!
make emo kids watch the Wiggles…
lmao…
They’d probably start crying.
Why do you have it in for Edison so bad?
Now that would be a school where I would like to work!!!
Seems like everytime a letter falls off the marquee you are right there to photograph it. Why are you hanging around a high school anyways?
This is a case of one devoted reader that sent me a tip.
highschooljim needs to go watch the wiggles.
You have some great ideas. I always wondered why, if one of the little bastards act up enough in school or skip out, they get kicked out of the place they never wanted to be in the first place!