How to Spot Walmart “Security”
When I shop at Walmart near Woodland Hill’s Mall, their Loss Prevention Associate follows me. They’re not true security, they’re plain-clothed protectors of profit. Mostly, they go unrecognized and unnoticed. I, however, know how to spot them
Because I’m tired of their suspicion over me, rather than shop elsewhere, I’m going blow their cover. Here’s How to Spot a Walmart Loss Prevention Associate, or LPA:
1) Browsing Male Shoppers
Men do not browse at Walmart, not even the gay ones. Men know what they want. They walk into the store; grab their item and leave. Look for the man who casually browses, with no shopping cart.
2) Quiet Cell phone Use
The cell phone of many Walmart LPAs appears connected to the ear and palm. While it’s not unusual for people to talk on their cell phones in public, it is unusual to not hear the conversation. People are rude, loud and believe their conversation is a gift to shoppers. LPAs will quietly use cell phones to communicate with each other. It’s subtler than a walkie-talkie.
3) Cup in Hand
Most Walmart Supercenters house either a Subway or McDonald’s. If an LPA buys lunch inside Walmart, he’s likely to carry his drink through the store. It’s a natural habit to carry a drink out of a fast food restaurant. However, no one stops at Subway for a meal before a leisurely stroll through Walmart, except Jared. People normally stop on the way out.
4) Look of Intent
Shopping at Walmart requires almost no thought. There are two choices: buy the item or not buy the item. A concentrated look is not always a sign of constipation; it’s also a sign of a secret Walmart associate.
5) Dragnet Vibe
Finally, if casual eye contact with anyone translates into a mental medley of, “Dum – - – de – DUM – DUM,” then it’s probably Loss Prevention.
You’re so funny!
And helpful.
They follow me too, though I’m not sure why. A good trick to get them to leave you alone is offer to let them frisk you. That will usually do the trick.
I suggest a pair of billy-bob teeth to help you blend in with normal Wal*Mart shoppers. Nothing tips off LPA like someone that’s out of place – clean clothes, articulate English, adequate grooming, etc.
I am not a shoplifter, but even I feel guilty and keep my hands in plain site and hope I don’t need anything from inside my purse when these types are lurking around.
Next time, try to lose him by the case of Dr. Thunder and Southern Lighting.
I came across a blog post from a guy who refused to allow the security folks to verify his receipt on his way out the door at one of the big box stores. He’d paid for his purchases and felt it was a needless intrusion, basically requiring him to prove he hadn’t shoplifted the goods. The store people freaked, called the cops, and hassled him over it.
So, I’m wondering if I could do something similar. I try to avoid Wally World because they treat their employees like crap, so maybe one of the other big box stores would be fun.
Ed W,
When you leave the register, the items in your possession are yours. No Walmart or Best Buy employee may legally prevent you from leaving with your goods, whether they look at them or not. If they try, politely tell them that they are illegally detaining you and you wish to leave. If they persist, do not allow them to search your bag, but do not be violent. Live through it and then call the nice folks at the TV station.
The one place where this is not the case is at warehouse clubs (Sams, CostCo, etc.), where you sign a contract that says they are allowed to search your goods. If you want a primer on receipt checking, look at http://www.consumerist.com (which seems to be down today) or just google the term “receipt checking”.
Little known fact: it is really not illegal to shoplift at Walmart.
Just tell them I said so if you get stopped.
I’ll pass the tip along.
LPAs themselves are the best shoplifters.
LOL! You literally made me laugh out loud by your first bullet point. You described perfectly the way I shop, too!
Straight or gay, that’s how men shop at Walmart.
Amazing. I just wrote a letter to Wal-Mart about this very thing. Even more amazing? AT THIS VERY STORE! My two favorite super-stealthy security guys:
The sad balding guy in his 30s. He came from the Wal-Mart when it was at 41st and Memorial and he treated all of his customers to this method of store-wide following.
The middle aged hispanic guy with the mustache.
Also another good bet: The guy standing ‘just outside’ customer service when you return something.
PS: I have also taken my business elsewhere.
My too. I’ve switched back to Target. Plus, I don’t have to wait in line for 15 minutes.
how about you make a blog about how people stupid ppl are when they drop thier kids off at the mall to basicly be baby sitted by a shopping center. and how more then half of the cities petty crime (shoplifting car burglarys ect.) is centered around 71st and memorial. 6 of the top 10 crime store are located on that corner. sounds like a great place to drop off your kids to me. all the guns and knifes those stores have come across apprehending shoplifters is astounding.
Hint to all-
All retailers have loss prevention of some sort. Quit crying, because if you act suspicious you are going to be followed whether you like it or not, if you even notice. Hint to the wise, Wal-Mart uses DVR security systems so you are watched from an office monitor also. And for the most part, you wouldn’t complain if you didn’t feel guilty.
Um, Joel Flatten – your threatening, insensitive response does nothing to increase our goodwill toward these stores who are increasingly treating us *not* as paying customers who keep them in business, but as (potential) thieves. And your assumption that only the “guilty” are offended by this is patently false, and probably self-serving. Unless you just have no conscience or soul, period – it’s probably easier to do your job (and to get employees to follow the program) if you perpetuate the myth that only the “guilty” shoplifters (or would-be shoplifters) take offense to being treated like a thief.
I don’t know of any type of shopper who would be *more* offended by what you do than the 100% innocent shopper who has never stolen in his life – who constantly notices being treated like he is something less than the upstanding citizen that he is. You expect a person to be o.k. with following an ethical code of honesty for his entire life – only to get “rewarded” by being treated like a chronic shoplifter or a constant shoplifting threat? You, my friend – have either lost touch with part of your humanity, or are in serious denial.
It’s pathetic that – despite my having never stolen anything in my life – my every move is scrutinized and misinterpreted as “suspicious”. Display indecisiveness? Oh, I’m going to steal! Spend longer than 30 seconds in an aisle? Oh, I’m going to steal! Can’t make up my mind as to what line to get in? Oh, I’m going to steal! Dare to read the ingredients label of bottles of liquid soap? Oh, I’m going to steal! (Far be it from me to have second thoughts about rubbing a toxic combo of triclosan and sodium lauryl sulfate on my skin.) Dare to not return an employee’s fake greeting and overdone gaze in a manner that the employee deems satisfactory (because no innocent shopper may be tired and/or shy, right?)? Call security!
It gives me satisfaction to spend as much of my money as possible on online vendors – which is mostly a byproduct of being made to feel more and more uncomfortable in “real world” stores. You and your colleagues have made it uncomfortable for myself, and plenty of other customers, to “browse” anymore; I just walk into a store with a pre-planned “list” of items to buy and don’t waste an extra minute browsing. How do you think this affects store sales? The less we browse, or the less comfortable we feel in a store – the less we buy.
I hope more and more innocent customers take a stand against the indignity of being treated in this manner. As far as I’m concerned, this blog entry should be the front page of Yahoo! for six months straight. Stores like Best Buy and Barnes and Noble should be boycotted into destruction – there is no real reason to actually buy anything from these stores (and I can name other stores in which it’s becoming increasingly unecessary to buy from).
Don’t forget the bearded, “redneck”-looking guy “leisurely” making his way through the feminine-hygeine product section at a Walmart in an area-of-town where his “look” is an anomaly (and giving you a once-over as he passes you).
Or what about the man who – as you’re standing there in an aisle reading the product-information of a box of allergy-medication that you’re thinking about buying (because, in the LP world, its a sign of the apocalypse that a customer would actually *care* about what s/he putting into his/her body) – stands 2 feet away from you staring you down?
The thing about Walmart LP is that – from my experience – they are often so comically-bad/obvious that it doesn’t necessarily take any keen perceptive powers to spot them. So ratting them out really provides no intrigue. It’s like they drastically underestimate the intelligence/perceptive powers of every customer – and feel free to be ridiculously blatant. Or, they just don’t care about offending you with their stares.
And no – I’m no shoplifter – never have even considered shoplifting (although the tunnel-visioned LP types reading this will desperately want to believe otherwise, to the point of delusion). I just have a knack for sensing when I’m being observed/targeted as a (would-be) shoplifter, and a strong distaste for being regarded as a thief when I’m anything but. So I’d love to see more blogs like this – rat ‘em out!
Here’s another thing to look for (particularly when you’re in Walmart late at night – or maybe this takes place at any time of day): look for uniformed employees who get in line behind you (ostensibly to “buy” something) – to observe you or to (in their mind) “prevent” you from stealing something right there in line. I’ve experienced this pattern a few times recently: I guess management fills these employees heads with notions that they’re “prevention heros” – when, most of the time, they are just wasting their time and picking the wrong people to watch (based on God knows what).
Sometimes (and this applies to other stores, as well) – a plain-clothed “customer” (really LP) will get behind you in line. This is when it can get “fun” – although, to me, “fun” doesn’t describe my experience when I’m being wrongly targeted. Sometimes, these LP will rat themselves out by letting you go ahead of them in line – although they may have only one “product” to “purchase”. They think we’re too unaware/stupid to know what is going on.
Speaking of males talking softly on cellphones…one time, I was in a store (not Walmart) – when I noticed a cell-phone-chatting male “slyly” watching a group of women shoppers. I immediately knew this guy was LP. He was probably “chatting” with his colleagues in the back room – and the back-room people apparently was watching me walking in “cell-phone chatter’s” direction, slyly observing him observing these women (simply ’cause it can be “interesting” to notice store-detective-type activity). The back-room people either told this guy that a “suspicious” customer was fast approaching him, or they told him that his “cover” was blown….because this “engrossed-in-phone-convo” guy suddenly lost interest in the women he was observing and started walking in the exact path that I was headed (which was out of the store). It’s like he was following me – not from behind, but from ahead of me (yes, I believe the “slicker” LP can sort-of anticipate your movement & “follow” you while walking ahead of you). He actually “followed” me out of the store – down the outdoor escalator – where he headed into a store on the first level. You had to have been there. It was pretty bizarre.
Very well said Holmgren. I wrote this post out of humor because LP does follow me while I’m in Walmart, which is why I’ve switched back to Target. I’m annoyed at the number of people, from this post and other forums, who think I have a guilty complex from shoplifting in the past. Well guess what? I also have never shoplifted, nor do I plan to. Here’s my typical Walmart shopping list: shampoo, shaving cream, razors, hand soap, cat food, kitty litter, paper towels, toilet paper and detergent. I might throw in a couple of grocery items. I also have been followed to my car for the above items. I’m not a thief, the LP is a prick.
I also don’t shop at Walmart if I can get out of it.I was shopping with my daughter-in-law and grandson, when LP started following us. I spotted him right away, he was really close.
We took him on a long and winding, not straight, line for a good
hour before heading for the check out. I had fun that day!