Why Women with Thin Thighs Die Sooner
The British Medical Journal printed a report that found people with thin thighs die sooner. While men generally ignored this report because we don’t care, women rejoiced. I can relate to the joy normal women must feel, and by normal, I mean women who swallow their food.
It’s probably the same joy I feel when I see a former high school bully who is morbidly obese … or dead.
For the female readers, I’ve stepped into mommy blog territory to list reasons why women with thin thighs die sooner:
10. Oklahoma winds carry them away.
9. They’re hit by cars more often.
8. They snap in half due to a lack of lower support.
7. Cats mistake their legs for sticks and chew.
6. They’re more likely to fall into holes.
5. Papercuts.
4. They’re punctured during sex.
3. They catch fire from bursts of static electricity.
2. They’re beaten by normal women after hearing, “I’m such a whale,” one too many times.
1. They starve themselves to death.
Ladies take note that men really don’t care. After all, they are the first thing we push to the side.
where’s mama?
Eating a huge breakfast because she’s normal.
When I see women with boney thighs I think to myself,
“I have seen better looking legs in a bucket of chicken!”
And that’s after you eat-em
Pass the Krispy Kremes!!!!
I’m quitting the gym today to prolong my life. I think there’s a Sonic on the way.
Probably another reason is the weight of a new boob job snapped some of those boney legs into pieces.
Sweet, I was patiently waiting for this topic to move from legs too breast.
Yeah, I like to play windshield wiper too.
kiss kiss
kiss kiss
Yeah, I like to play windshield wiper too.
……kiss……..kiss……
……kiss……..kiss……
It this is the case, I guess I’m gonna live a good long life…