20 Warning Signs No One Cares about You

There are obvious signs that no one likes you.  Parents forget your birthday, your pets run away and the neighbor’s child sets you on fire.

Other signs are not so obvious; such as the cobra in your underwear drawer or that you’re a member of the Jedi church.

If you can’t think of the person in your circle of friend that no one cares about, chances are it’s you.  Here are 20 Warning Signs No One Cares about You:

20. Your co-workers go halfies on your dollar store gift.

19. Your children give a “World’s Greatest Dad” mug to the neighbor.

18. Your last name is Gosselin.

17. You’re voted “Most Likely to be Mediocre.”

16. Your wife forgets your name.

15. You’re a member of the Jedi Church.

14. You’re a blogger who frequently writes lists.

13. You die and people snicker.

12. You masturbate to Martha Stewart Living.

11. Angelina Jolie won’t adopt you.

10. Your parents refer to you as the one that got away … from the coat hanger.

9. Your cat has become a self-cutter.

8. Your waiter spits in your food, after he hands you your plate.

7. You look forward to talking to Nigerian scammers.

6. You’re a hooker.

5. You’re follower count on Twitter has reached -10.

4. Your dentist filled your cavities with Play Dough.

3. Your doctor reserves the swine fly vaccination for what he refers to as his “real patients.”

2. You call a suicide prevention hotline and they talk you into it.

1. Even Tom blocked you on MySpace.