Letter to the Editor #22 (Lights Out Edition)

Good evening Irritated Tulsan,

I am a TU student from out-of-state and as such, have an unfortunately low awareness for current Tulsa issues, but keep as up to date as possible by reading your blog. I have a question for you, if you have a moment or would care to publically comment: At some point while I was on break in Austin, Tulsa decided to stop lighting the streets along certain parts of 244, the 169, the 44, and the BA at night. Do you know why? This seems somewhat counterproductive to public safety, but then again, it may be moot; you have commented before on the aptitude of Tulsan motorists…

Thank you very much for your daily dose of amusement to maintain my sanity.

Cheers,
TSmith, an Inquisitive Texan
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Dear TSmith,

First, thank you for reading. I’m glad I can give you a daily dose of amusement, except when I’m touring with my Death-Metal-Hip-Hop-Polka-Country band. Trust me: Death-Metal-Hip-Hop-Polka-Country music will be huge.

I’ll answer your question to the best of my ability.

The official reason for the lack of lighting is money. Since the city has to cut $10 million out of its budget, they turned off the lights. It’s projected to save about $240,000.

Unless you factor in the number of wrecks caused from crackheads driving the wrong way on the highway, the increase in dead animal pickup and graffiti removal from punk-a** children no one can see, then it should save money.

However, turning the lights off may work in our favor.

Wednesday morning on my way work, a middle-aged redneck in a large Chevy truck swerved through traffic on his way buy a pack of Red Man. This is the type of person who would have the bumper sticker that says, “I miss my wife, but my aim is getting better.” Not him though, he’s classier. He had testicles hanging from the bumper of this truck. Obviously overcompensating for his latent homosexuality.

Personally, I like the lights off. It makes it easier to shoot Bumper Nuts.

I Hope That Helps,
Irritated Tulsan

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