Oklahoma Moonshine Industry to Flourish

When it comes to pushing measures that make sense, the Oklahoma Senate will do the opposite.

A senate panel killed a measure before we had a chance to vote on it, bypassing our opinions.  Senators Dan Newberry, Randy Brogden, Sean Burrage, Debbe Leftwich and David F. Myers decided it was in Oklahoma’s best interest to not allow us to vote on whether grocery stores should be allowed to sell wine and strong beer.

If they had approved the measure, we would’ve voted on it.  Well, I would like to say…

Thank you, Jackasses.

What?  Are you worried we won’t make the right decision?  We’ve made poor choices before.  You may be right; we did put you in office.

Just because your combined age equals 1,462-years-old doesn’t mean the rest of are backwards hillbilly thinkers.  Each time a Luby’s customer dies, you lose a voter.

We’re in the worst economic crisis since The Great Depression, and a measure that would add dollars to our economy is shot down?

What’s the rationale behind that?

“It will increase youth’s access to alcohol,” Newberry said.

Increase access?  As opposed to what?  Gas stations, their parent’s liquor cabinet or giving a homeless man a sandwich in exchange for a bottle of Jack Daniels?

While Newberry is concerned about our youth, Brogden believes the measure is discriminatory since it only includes Tulsa and Oklahoma County.  Maybe Brodgen believes that minors from all counties should have an equal chance to increase their liquor usage.

You know what the worse thing is about this whole issue?  I used “worst economic crisis since The Great Depression.”  I hate that phrase.  It’s over used.  It’s a cliché.  You forced me to use it.

Next, you’ll force me to use “it’s gonna get better before it gets worse,” “if you don’t quit crying, I’ll give you a reason to cry,” and “why does it burn when I pee?”  Because of that, you lose my vote…

…and because I have to drive to Kansas for 4.0 beer.

I hope you get scabies.

Advertisement