Good Riddance, White-Trash Skank Whore

If you would’ve taken a moment to notice your children, other than when you screamed at them, maybe you could’ve shattered the stereotype that you’re white trash.

Six months ago when you moved in, I bought your husband’s story of relocating to Tulsa for a job.

We all did.

After a couple of months, your true side emerged.

Remember when that church donated $300 worth of groceries to your family?  They barely knew you.  Do you also remember when you donated $200 worth of food to John 3:16 Mission the same week?  I do.  I connected the two.  You and your husband should plan your cons better.

What shocked me is that you had any time to con at all, since most of your time was spent at the casino.  Good thing you had that foreign exchange student living with you.  A free babysitter for your four birthed heathens.

With four kids under 12-years-old, one boy and three girls, there seemed to be competition for your attention.  Maybe if you would give your kids an ounce of attention, they wouldn’t need to break into cars and homes.  Neither one of you work.  Do your children cut into your sit-around-and-do-nothing time?  At least they’re resourceful and can entertain each other, although I’m not sure that making milkshakes with a bagless vacuum cleaner is healthy.

What I really liked was seeing a couch cushion dangling from the tree with a nylon strap.  The homemade swing made a great view from my front door.  I prayed that the tree branch would snap and knock your girls unconscious, since they scream as though flaming porcupines are crawling out of their colon.  Squirrels commit suicide upon hearing their shrieks.

None of this matters now, because you moved.  I assume you skipped out on your lease since the U-Haul pulled up at 10 p.m. and I heard, “Hurry!  Hurry!  Leave it!  Hurry!”

Everything packed and gone in an hour, well, almost everything.  You did leave a bike, skateboard and fancy cushion swing.

Enjoy your new town you white-trash skank whore.  You’ll be gone in six months.