What About the Other Six Percent?
A 94 percent recommendation rate at a hospital is probably good, but I can’t quit focusing on the unhappy 6 percent.
Why are they not happy?
Dead? In a coma? Hopped up on morphine? Circumcised babies?
This isn’t the first time polls have been used in ad campaigns. We learned “Four-out-of-five dentists recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum.” I never worried about the one gum-hating dentist. I figured he was just a prick. I know that’s 20 percent of dentists, but I can’t quit obsessing over SouthCrest’s six percent.
If I’m a patient in a hospital, I’m nervous. I don’t need the added stress of this statistic. If a surgeon plans to cut me open, I’ll need to tap into my power of denial and convince myself everything will be fine. I can’t convince myself that I’ll live if I don’t know why these people don’t recommend SouthCrest.
Maybe if you compared yourself to other hospitals, I’d be at ease. Something like “Fewer people die at South Crest than at St. John’s” or “If you don’t recommend us, you’re probably dead.”
I’d be fine with either of those taglines.
Wait … I’ve got it.
“Ninety-four-out-of-one-hundred dentists recommend SouthCrest Hospital for those patients who chew gum.”
Now, I feel better.
I’ve seen that sign and pondered similar thoughts. Note that it doesn’t say that 94% recommend them. It says that 94% would. What does that mean? They can deduce from a urine test or a rectal exam that 94% would recommend if asked? I’m all confused.
That’s right, 94 percent “would” recommend them. It doesn’t mean that they did.
I saw an add for ATT the other day that said something along the lines of “Offering coverage to 99% of the US population”.
Being the pessimist that I am, my first thought was… “ATT, we don’t give a rats ass about 3,070,066 of you.”
AT&T……those turds……..I love my iPhone but those jackasses at AT&T make having an iPhone a lackluster experience.