Feet on the Dashboard
As I travel to my destination, I swerve to miss potholes, drive through several construction zones and watch for pedestrians. The last thing I need to distract me are your Frito-Lay Corn Chip toenails from your feet on the dashboard.
I don’t know where in Hillbilly Hell your father toilet-plunged you out of your mother’s womb, but in my car feet stay on the floor.
They don’t need to be on the windshield smearing toe jam and sweat into a cesspool of bacteria. Keep your fungus where it belongs, below eye level and out of reach of my respiratory system.
I know some find it sexy. There are people turned on by feet. However, I’ve never understood anyone who looks at a foot and says, “oh yeah, I want a piece of that.” Probably the same type of person who licks armpits.
On hot summer days, odors leach from the upholstery, the engine and sweat. I don’t need to add foot odor to the mix of motor oil and spilt coffee.
Also, it’s not safe.
One wreck and the airbag will snap your legs quicker than Dewey Bartlett at a city council meeting.
Next time you feel the urge to sun your toes on the dashboard, why not take a relaxing drive through the country?
Roll down the window, stick out your feet and let the cool breeze tickle your toes while your love honey flows. Snuggle in the free arm of your loved one, who should be paying attention to…
…the tree branch that just hacked off your foot.
That’s what you get.
I’m with you brother. Feet up on the dash is gross. Feet up on the conference table during a meeting is rude.
Yuck! Feet on any table is gross, especially if one plans to eat there.
I just wanted to let you know that I “was” going to have frito-chili pie for lunch……but not now!
All I would be able to think of would be nasty-ass feet!
This is one of my pet peeves as well! Another one is people going barefoot and wearing pajamas in public!
I thought that was the dress code for Wal-Mart?
You’re confusing horns with pants-optional.
I’m a feet hater. I don’t want to look at your feet and I accept that you do not want to look at mine. You have hit on a pet peeve. I hate feet on a dashboard. I also hate when a foot is hanging out the passenger window.
And I blow a gasket when friends get in my car and try that maneuver and get foot prints on my windshield.
OK, I think I am better now.
The foot: the most unattractive part of the human body. Leave it to hicks to highlight them.
Either you’ve never had a girlfriend (and made this article based on observing numerous other vehicles with girls in the passenger seat putting their feet up), or your girlfriend has ugly ass feet.
“They don’t need to be on the windshield smearing toe jam and sweat into a cesspool of bacteria. Keep your fungus where it belongs, below eye level and out of reach of my respiratory system.”
right, because every girl who does it has toejam and has foot odor you can smell from the driver seat.
My girlfriend does it all the time and well, she has cute feet so it’s okay. She also keeps her feet clean so there’s no issue with toejam (wtf seriously way to exaggerate) and foot odor.
In fact I think it’s really cute when girls do that (provided their feet aren’t ugly) or if they are wearing socks, provided the socks are dirty as hell.
When my girlfriend does with socks (ie. she was wearing sneakers), she has clean socks or some hello kitty or other coloured designs ankle socks so in no way does it look gross or offensive. It actually looks cute.
So perhaps you really need to take a step back and not be so close-minded.
oops in the 3rd to last paragraph
I meant to say “if they are wearing socks, provided the socks AREN’T dirty as hell”