Dear White-Collar P***Y Scared of the Sun
I if hear “beat the heat” one more time, I will hurl my body on the floor, flop like a fish and soil myself.
Too many people act as if the sun will cause their skin to blister in 60 seconds, make their Lawn Boy explode, and chaos will hit the streets as a sun-induced frenzy causes everyone to pillage the town and rape our virgins.
I know the rules: drink plenty of water, wear light clothing and avoid the outdoors at all cost, but I think I have a real solution. It’s called stop being a pussy.
We’ve survived millions of years with the heat, and we’ll survive millions more. Blue-collar workers deal with this all summer. They get hot. They drink water. They survive. It’s the white-collars workers who whine about the heat. Ahhh, the poor man in a business suit that has to walk 20 feet from his air-conditioned car to the air-conditioned building. I hope he can survive two minutes outdoors.
It’s tragic when a white-collar worker has to dab a little sweat off his forehead and carry a melted Starbucks Iced Caffé Mocha into the office. The suffering, oh the suffering. You want to know real suffering? Try a heat rash from the sweaty groin of a blue-collared worker. That’s some serious rank on a hot summer day.
The next time someone complains to you about the heat and you’re a blue-collar worker, take off your pants and let the boys roam. They may not feel better, but at least you will.
I don’t get it. Everybody acts so frigging surprised when it gets hot in the summer. It is summer folks, it is supposed to be hot! When it is cold we call it winter.
Doesn’t Oklahoma summer heat make you feel like home?
I’m thinking “Ozone Alerts” or “F*****g Heat” should be your next Tulsa of the Week.
whoooohuh…man…we got to beat the heat somehow…
{I just wanted to see if you were really going to soil yourself}
So, no tips on how I can beat the…you know, heat?
No kidding. I’m sick of it already!! I work for a dermatologist and these people think they are going to die. All the pansy ass suits think they are so important and their rashes should be an emergency appointment. You know where you can get an emergency appointment? The ER you d-bags. It’s a rash, it will go away. Poison ivy? Really? Here’s something I have learned at a child…leafs of three let them be. Okay, I’m better. That felt good to get that out.
Not at all. My co worker and I have to listen to them bitch all day long. The people w/ skin cancer are a lot easier to deal with
Coming soon: Tips to prevent contracting West Nile
-Wear long sleeve clothing
-Spray liberally with DEET
-Avoid wet areas
-When you see a mosquito on your arm sucking your blood, attempt to slap it away
-Stop living your life normally
-Stick with Fox 23 to keep you safe and breathing
http://www.gundyslettuce.wordpress.com
looks like someone is trying to ride your coat tails, who is this Gundy?
I keep waiting for the “Hot enough for you?”. I may be flopping on the floor next to you. I have enough body fluids for both of us.
Hey, it’s Oklahoma and if you’re a native you should be used to it. Bring it on. Please let’s not have the fried egg on the sidewalk demonstration again.
Or the cookies baked in a car demo.
To quote the esteemed Glenn Frey-”The H is O”
LOL, without wanting to see the “boys roam” as you say, this is a very funny post. I have to admit I b*t*h about the heat too, though I actually work in it; but it really is the business guys that whine the most about it. lol, funny post – keep up the good work.
I’m a blue collar worker and y’all can take this heat and shove it. Go ahead and call me a pussy, a pussy who has lived on Guam and in the Sahara, and who was born in the Mojave. Anyone who revels in heat as a means of showcasing their supposed manhood needs to have his or her head examined. In 90 days we’ll be in Key West…for good.
I didn’t say blue-collar workers are pussies. They’re the ones that can handle the heat. It’s the white-collar workers that whine.
Oh, well, never mind then.. My bad!
It’s Winter here at the moment and I get annoyed with people complaining about the weather. It’s Winter people .. get over it! Those same people will be complaining about the heat in a few months
Please don’t let the boys out… It’s hot in North Carolina too and please God don’t let the rednecks liberate their junk.
>take off your pants and let the boys roam
That’s what Kilts are for!