My Foray Into Digital Drugs

The ways of digital drugs are a mystery.

(*Cue Let’s Get it On by Marvin Gaye.)

The pulsating electric beats pound at every nerve ending in an orgasmic electrical erotic flow, oozing bodily fluids like a percolating coffee maker, thrusting your brainwaves between a fine line of sex and sanity.

(Abruptly end music.)

Or it could be as huge of a crock as the above sentence.

Digital drugs, or I-dosing, are the latest in urban legend phenomenon.  Through binaural (two-tone) technology, a different tone is played in the each ear.  This “drug” supposedly alters brainwaves and mimics a high usually reserved for meth addicts or Farmville participants.

YouTube is filled with videos of teens acting as if they’re about to fly through a second-story window in an ABC Afterschool Special.

I-dosing makes about as much sense as catching cyber-herpes from masturbating on a Web cam.

Panic among normally sane people is soon to reach the levels of the 1938 broadcast of War of the Worlds, the 1993 tales of syringe-laden Pepsi cans, and that “black guy who became president” – Tea Party.

If music altered brainwaves to the point of drug-like highs, more people would commit suicide after listening to Barbara Streisand.

To see if there is legitimacy to I-dosing or it’s a mass-placebo effect, I decided to give it a try.

I searched for “I-dose” on YouTube. I put on my headphones, pushed play and stared at the screen for 10 minutes.  All I heard was two separate pitches changing every few minutes.  Did I get high?  No, only annoyed.

I found no validity to digital highs.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have the sudden to urge to jump out of a window and sacrifice a goat.