Bieber Fever Symptoms

For centuries, alarmists have predicted the newest plagues that would wipe out all civilizations.  Fortunately, they’re usually wrong.  Unfortunately, they’re usually skipping their medications.

While scientists look to the West to see what types of flu have emerged, citizens focus on hand sanitizing and wonder if pork is safe to eat.

With everyone’s back turned, an epidemic surfaced that turned our computer screens into an infectious needle straight into our souls. It’s almost as though cyber herpes rushed through the public’s fingertips.  An epidemic unpredicted by alarmists and scientists … Bieber Fever.

Avoiding anything Bieber-related is the best prevention from catching this dreadful disease.  However, if you’re concerned that you or someone you love has Bieber Fever, here are some symptoms to watch out for:

20. You’re a Register Sex Offender

19. Foam Around the Mouth

18. Retracting Puberty

17. Temporary Paralysis

16. Menopause

15. Paid-Posse of Back-Up Dancers

14. Hairballs

13. Sewer Breath

12. Voice Reaches 8 Octaves Above Human

11. Gummy Nails

10. Elongated Teeth

9. Fleas

8. Naval Seepage

7. Parents Who Dress Like Hookers

6. Mini-Strokes in Which the Infected Repeats “oh-my-gah,oh-my-gah,oh-my-gah,”

5. You’ve appeared on Hoarders

4. Death

3. Glittery Discharge

2. Bangs in the Eyes

1. Inverted Penis

If you have any of these symptoms, see your doctor immediately.