Dear Douche Bags at ONEOK Freedom Fest
Thank you so much for showing up for the fireworks at not only the last minute, but well into the show. I’m glad you came out to celebrate our 235th birthday, no matter how badly you blocked my view. It was very inconsiderate of me to arrive early in order to get a good spot. I now realize that if I had waited until the last minute, you and the rest of your carnie clan wouldn’t have been forced to squeeze in front of me.
Why should I complain? I should have appreciated the view of your wife’s tan and leathery muffin top. It was at my eye-level, after all. I should be impressed that after having two kids, well, two that the state hasn’t taken, that her muffin top only drapes one inch below her waist line. How fortunate that when she wears that bikini top, the mirror reflection is Katy Perry. We see the Crypt Keeper with crispy bangs.
Hearing the fireworks was good enough for me.
Actually, it wasn’t.
I wasn’t one of the insane people that went to Riverside 12 hours before the show. I went two. Two hours. That gave me enough time to find a good spot, visit with family and eat my sandwich.
I had a good view, a decent 98-degree breeze and a comfortable chair. But, no. Between wranglin’ the kids, settin’ the TV recorder for rasslin’ and pickin’ up two 6-packs of Old Milwaukee, you weren’t able to get there before the show started.
What River Parks needs are designated areas based on time.
If you arrive two hours early, you sit near the bank. If you arrive one hour early, you can sit near the street. If you arrive at the last minute, you can go f*** yourself.
I hope you get malaria.
I hear ya man…. that’s one of the reasons we just don’t go anymore. To quote a well known phrase: “Trashy is as trashy does”.
These are the same people who flock to the fair in all their half-dressed unwashed splendor.. and generally make free day at any Tulsa event an exercise in harrowing futility.
And mostly all on OUR taxpayer dime, which is one of the things that just pisses me off.
Whatever happened to having just a little bit of dignity, if not a little class?
Dang IT, you could have asked us to move!
I guess I was too horrified at your bikini top.
At least she wasn’t wearing a tube top, I saw a woman wearing one this weekend and it has been haunting my nightmares ever since…..here tube top looked more like udder-covers considering how low she was wearing it.
I’m so glad you’re back, IT.
I witnessed a near-professional quality show on a neighborhood street in Broken Arrow, where residents can pay for a license to shoot off fireworks on the 4th. No muffin tops in sight, and the skies all around were lit up by neighborhood fireworks shows.
I’m glad I missed it. Anyway…welcome back I.T.
i hear you there was guy that showedup at the last minute who was standing behind me and his wife asked him if he wanted to sit on the ground and he said “I donlt want to be near people.” what the hell. he;s in a crwded how the hell can you not be near people